


Congratulations, for the rest of your life

by orphan_account



Series: "Hamilton" Song Parodies [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: "Congratulations" by Lin-Manuel Miranda, (Ham and Laurens are married I think), B/C Hammy cheated on Laurens and now he's paying the price, Break-up sort of, I'll stop before I tag "Zebras" or something, M/M, Modern day Reynolds Pamphlet, So yeah, Song Parody, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 03:51:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9474383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This is a modern-day rewrite of Angelica's kickass cut song "Congratulations" in which Laurens is cheated on instead of Eliza. Heartbroken and angry, he briefly roasts his husband before storming out





	

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read the tags you'll already know how random this is.  
> Thank you for your time. You could be anywhere in the world right now, but you're here with me on AO3.

[HAMILTON]

Laurens...

 

[LAURENS]

Alexander...

Congratulations

You have invented a new kind of stupid

A “damage you can never undo” kind of stupid

An “open all the cages in the zoo” kind of stupid

Truly, I didn’t expect this from you

It’s kinda stupid

Let’s review: you took a rumor,

Involving me, involving you 

And refuted it

By sharing an affair 

That doesn’t just affect you

It affects me, too.

Ever think of that, hmm? 

So scared of what your enemies will do to you

Keep going on like this and you’ll lose those who are dear to you 

You know why Jefferson can do what he wants?

He doesn’t have anything to lose with a response!

 

So yeah, congratulations.

You’ve redefined your legacy, congratulations.

 

[HAMILTON]

It was an act of political sacrifice!

[LAURENS]

Sacrifice?

I left my wife and child in London

I risked my father finding our letters

I look at you and think

“God, what have I done with my life?

And where did it get us?"

That doesn’t wipe those years or the fear away

I fought next to you,  _ just for you _ , I stayed

And you know what I couldn’t do?

 

[HAMILTON]

Laurens, please

 

[LAURENS]

I could never say no to you

 

I know you, Alex, and this isn’t the first time

You have chosen your own life over mine

But a million years ago, you said to me:

“John, be mine”

So I stood by

Do you know why? 

I love you, Alex, more than anything in this life

I’ll never find another with your passion or your mind

Alexander!

You were the best thing in my life

Never lose sight of the fact that 

You could have been with me your whole life

 

Congratulations

For the rest of your life

Every sacrifice you make had better suffice

 

Just live your best life.

  
Congratulations. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for your time. A comment would literally make my day; I thrive off validation (or constructive criticism, whichever you prefer).
> 
> I've got a "Satisfied" parody in the works and a "Burn" parody already published. If you enjoyed this, you'll probably enjoy that too, so stay tuned.


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